found this in my inbox as I was deleting old emails. It’s a nice
reminder to all of us so I’m sharing it again… have a nice day! God
bless!
Yesterday I attended a short talk by Bo Sanchez (The famous writer and
editor o f kerygma, Simplify your life and other best selling books).
He had this short talk of love and relationships and I really think it
was very interesting that’s why I’m sharing it to you.
Loving is I guess one of the best feelings in the world. And despite the
tears and the sacrifices attached to it I’m sure everyone - except I
guess the jaded ones will agree with me that everyone wants to love and
be loved in that special kind of manner. Romantic love. Tha special kind
of love you have for that certain person.
So what are the myths of "Falling in Love"
Myth 1: "TRUE LOVE WILL CONQUER ALL."
Most of us fall in the trap telling and convIncing the people around us
that everything will be fine as long as there is love in the
relationship. This is okay up to a certain extent but most of the time
it blinds us.Loving a person doesnt meant hat you turn a blind eye to
the things that he is doing worng or when you always fall in the same
cycle all over again. Learn to say ENOUGH and mean it.
The major consequences of this myth are:
1) You overlook major obstacles to your relationship.
2) You overstay in toxic relationships, believing that your love will
change him.
Myth 2:"WHEN IT’S TRUE LOVE, YOU WILL KNOW IT THE MOMENT YOU MEET THE
OTHER PERSON."
Most guys or girls say that there was magic the first time their eyes
met. That the first time was such a magical mment and that you knew that
it was then that this was the person that you wanted to be with. Please.
Don’t mistake Lust for Love. It takes more than a moment to make a
loving relationship work. I sometimes wish that loving is just like
those romatic movies that I watch. Remember sleepless in seattle? But in
real life things just dont happen the way a movie rus. So its largely
better to go beyond that first magical moment and open your eyes to real
love.
Major consequences of this myth:
1) You become so focused on the magocal first moment, you become blind
to the dark sides of the person or the relationship.
2) You become a love-at-first sight junkie, you could miss out on the
real thing.
Myth 3: "IF ITS TRUE LOVE, YOU WILL FEEL THIS WAY FOR EACH OTHER
FOREVER."
When I heard this I was like really?!But when Bo Sanchez explained it I
wa slike okay I’ll give him that. He said that sometimes we alwasy think
that we are at the peak of a loving relationship. we believe that
everything will be okay and that things will always be the same. But
come on there are days when you look at your significant partner and
dont feel antyhing at all. Or there are even times that we feel that we
need a bt of space or a breather. This doesnt meant that Love has
diminished. Its always there.
Major Consequences of this myth:
1)You panic when the feelings wane and wonder whether the marriage or
the relationship is over and whether you really loved one another in the
first place.
2)You start blaming your partner for the loss of love.
Myth 4:"YOUR PARTNER WILL FULFILL YOU COMPLETELY."
Remember Jerry Maguire? Tom Cruise’s line "You complete me." Is totally
not true. No matter how romatic we think this may sound. The thing is
and I have always believed in this. Your completeness isnt dependent on
another person. Base your completenes on who you are as a person. And
know that there are other people in the picture that makes you complete.
Your friends can fulfill the needs that you may not provide your
partner.Sometimes when we are in a relationship we tend to think that we
can provide everything that our partner needs. This idea is wrong. we
sould be aware that our partner needs their friends to fill them up
again in order to share more love to you.
Major Consequences of this myth:
1) You fail to recognize a good relationship because your partner isn’t
fulfilling the needs you should be fulfilling yourself. (For many
people, theythink they’re dissatisfied with their marriage or their
relationship. IN reality, they are dissatisfied with themselves.!)
2) You resent your partner for not giving what yyou should be finding
elsewhere.
Myth 5: "IF ITS TRUE LOVE, YOU WONT BE ATTRACTED TO ANYONE ELSE."
Being Monogamous is a CONSCIOUS EFFORT. It is a DECSION.Practice it
consciously and make a decision to do it.
Major Consequences of this myth:
1) You panic when you get attracted to someone else, questioning the
authencity of your love for spouse.
2) You are careless with your relationships with the opposite sex,
endangering your fidelity.
TRUTHS ABOUT LOVE:
1) Loving entails maturity
2) COMMITMENT - True love is based on commitment and not just feelings.
3) Minimal Compatibility
4) Remeber it takes a moment to experience infatuation but a lifetime to
experience LOVE.
5) Falling in Love isnt love. Remember what Scott Peck said in the Road
Less Travelled? Love is a suspension of boundaries. I suggest you read
his chapter on love. Its quite beautiful.
6) LOVE IS A DECISION
7)The right partner will fulfill some of your needs but not all of them.
Pray though that God blesses you with that REAL LOVE in every
relationship you enter. And make sure that God is the third person that
will navigate your relationship.
